One of my mentors is Don Miguel Ruiz. In his book, The Fifth Agreement, he talks about our false self and our true self. It is about happiness versus unhappiness.
As young children we are wild, free, without self-consciousness and self-judgement. We speak the truth and live in the moment (p.12) Then we begin the process of domestication and the development of the ego. We learn behaviors, beliefs, judgments based upon the people and environment around us. We agree with them because we are dependent upon others for our care and survival. "After domestication, we try to be good enough for ourselves, because we can never live up to our image of perfection. We look for what we have lost. As we become more mature, we begin searching again for our "true self, for love, for truth". And we are searching for all of these things outside of ourselves, because that is where we believe we will find it. We are not happy." p.14
Our whole lives we have accepted limitations, beliefs of others that tell us we are not good enough, there is no perfection and we begin habits of settling and unhappiness. We look for someone to save us. The saving has to come from within, from yourself (from your second attention). Now we have the chance to unlearn all the lies and beliefs that we accepted when we gave our power and our divinity away. (p.148-149)
As I have reflected on his messages and words, I have reexamined my own life and behaviors. My discovery is that I have been an extremely good student when it comes to listening to others in my life and giving my power away. The result, unfortunately has been separation from my true self and depression.
Many of us realize we may not be happy. But we are not really sure why. We all have our own choices to make in our lives. We do so the best we can. I would venture a guess that most of us also would not change most of our choices. I know that I am happy with all of the conscious choices I have made. That includes my spouse, children, education, faith/spirituality. However, there are many choices that I did not realize I was making, or that I could make a different choice. When we feel we have no choice, we can not see a way out. We allow our fear to take away our power and choice. At these times, we feel free will is a joke because we have allowed ourselves to believe we are a victim or martyr. We do not consciously choose this, this is a subconscious reaction based on emotions and experiences and perceptions that we did not have the tools, strategies or environment to react with love. We did what we believed from our limited false self and ego. The voice in our head. Ruiz calls that voice "knowledge".
Our soul is reaching out to us to awaken us in times of separation, depression, stress, or unhappiness. What we are called to awaken to is our truth, our power, our love of self, and our connection to our the divine. The divine, however has to be accessed from each of us individually. It is not something that we can search for outside of us. There are no answers outside. All answers come from within, from our spirit of pure love. Reconnecting to that spirit of pure love within us and making choices from a place of self love, truth allows us to use our free will in a healthy and empowering way. We then become free, full of joy and happy. It is a journey.
I am on this journey. Would you like to join me? I welcome each of you to follow me on this path of unlearning, learning and becoming all that we each are called to in this life. A journey to wholeness.
Ruiz calls "to learn to doubt. To doubt what we have believed and hear. To learn to accept and see ourselves as divine. That is truth. All else is lies. Have faith in yourself and follow every instinct you were born with. Have no doubt in who you are, trust yourself and trust life."
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