Weight, Depression and Freedom: A Journey of Love

Months have crept by since I last blogged and also have extra and unwanted pounds slowly crept into my tissues.  It's winter now.  It is a time to  go within, find comfort, warmth and solitude.  If I were a bear I would be well prepared for a long winter.  Winter is a time for reflection.  Sometimes, we stay in winter mode for longer than the winter months.  That has been my state.  I haven't blogged for over a year. Wow.  Where have I been?  I asked myself that question.  I don't really know. Hours turned into days, and days into a year and a half.  Busy, occupied and sometimes lost. Life happened and I withdrew and escaped into it and myself.  I have had a broken leg, been in the hospital and therapy for 3-6 months.  Still not recuperated, actually have lots of work to go.  In the process I have gained more weight and struggle to keep myself going.  I have grieved what happened and where I am.  I have been angry and resentful.  I have prayed for help, of course looking for a specific outcome.  That outcome has not happened because I have not taken action to make it come about.  Now I'm tired of grieving. tired of going downhill.  From deep inside me my soul is calling me to wake up, find and claim my own strength. I have been looking outside of myself for someone or something to help me.  And I have had help.  I have received LifeLine sessions and energy work that have revealed hurt and the loss of my own voice or inability to speak up for myself.  I have been learning very important lessons during this time. I have been writing in my journal and discovering thought patterns and false beliefs that I have been replaying in my head.  They have not been helping me.  They have kept me trapped.  I have been living in the past, which really translates to existing but not really living at all.   The help I need comes from within and has always been inside of me.  It comes from my inner-self, my heart and my soul.  I come from God, from the divine.  I am a spark which emanates from the One Divine Living Flame we call God. I have been denying that I am a child of God and that my strength comes from him.

So rather than listen to the voice in my head that says, I can't do this, or it's too hard to do that; I am choosing to listen to my heart.  My heart tells me that all things are possible.  My heart tells me to love myself and to take care of myself.  It tells me I have all that I need and to live with gratitude.  It tells me I am alive and to celebrate that life.

It is snowing heavily outside.  The first heavy snow of the winter even though it is the end of February.  The huge heavy flakes are falling like rain.  Which is rather ironic because inside me I feel like spring.  Ready to burst forth with renewed energy and full of belief in myself.  I can see myself getting better and wanting to put forth the effort to get better.  I really feel like I can do it.

I am going to share this with you.  I will be telling you what I have discovered about myself recently and what changes  are taking place.  So pull up a chair, a cup of coffee and a tall glass of good healthy water and listen while I tell a story about me and perhaps about you too.  For we are all children of God, in search of our own divine spark of life, joy and happiness from within!

A Journey shared with heartfelt Infinite Love and Gratitude,
Debbie

Seeing your life differently - rewriting your story.

Today I am focusing on beliefs, perceptions, and judgments that we accepted and believed as a young child. It is extremely important to realize that the messages we internalize may not be those that the people in our lives were giving us. For example, as a child you may ask a question just when the phone is ringing and dinner is burning, you may get a harsh response and believe they do not care about you, when the response has nothing to do with you. You just do not see the situation the from the same perspective. Even when a parent apologizes, the child may still hold self doubt. This journey may allow you to change your view of reality, of your life and of yourself. I encourage you to start or add these to your journal writings.

How have you viewed your early childhood life from the aspects of stability, safety. and security? Was your view of your feelings of life then one of trust or distrust? Did you feel sustained and rooted in life and with yourself and your surroundings? Was there turmoil, instability or confusion in your environment? Remember "Leave it to Beaver" was a tv show not reality. Don't judge your life against that, just be honest and open.

As you are going over these questions, do you view the circumstances or situation of that time as full acceptance of life on earth, or do you feel a sense of resistance, fear, anger or bitterness?

As children we are born into families. All family situations differ. Many times, families or parents do not have the ability to love freely or completely. Here I am not passing judgment. I am saying that many of us were never able to really love ourselves. We may have felt judged, insecure, unsupported, lacking and unstable. Often the people in our lives did not truly know how to love and accept themselves. They may have been living a life of pain or insecurity. They could not love others unconditionally because they might not have known what it was to love themselves. They tried to fit in and earn love. They did not feel they were lovable just for being. There may have always been strings attached.

There are several key points here. One is that there is no fault or blame. Each person does the best they can. Each parent loves their children the best they can. Rather than blaming and judging for others perceived imperfections we would do better to focus on the brokenness and loss of wholeness that they may have experienced. This puts us in a state of compassion and forgiveness.

Once we accept, love and forgive our life for not being what we may not have consciously chosen, we can move on. Living in the past and reliving our hurts over and over keeps us trapped, unhealthy and we are not living in love.

The good news here is that after we let go of the past we can start moving on. We start to create the life we want by realizing that we are creators. We need to accept the we are each born by a loving creator and are a soul of pure love. Innocent little lovable babies. In this state we are more like the animal kingdom. We are part of nature and nurture. We know how to suckle, we respond to fear and love and comfort in healthy ways. As we learned and developed our egos we lose touch with that pure little spirit of love and joy. We start to form opinions and beliefs about who we are. They are lies, but we believe them. We do not know any better. But now you have the ability to change and see the truth.

Starting today I ask each of us to repeat the following affirmations. Add others if they pop into your mind!

• I accept this life on earth.
• I am safe, secure and stable. All my needs will be met.
• I trust life.
• I am a divine spark of life.
• I have all I need within myself.
• My life is a balance of a relationship with earth and the source of creation and infinite love.
• I trust myself. I trust my intuition. My knowing from within.
• I choose to question false beliefs that I have held.
• It is okay to experience my emotions, accept them and own the power of truth within me.
• I am strong. I am loving.
• I have free will and a choice to choose a different path than I have been on.

You may want to write a letter to yourself, one to your mother and one to your father. Feel your emotional pain and release it. Tell yourself that you are now choosing to rewrite your life from the truth not your false perceptions of reality, judgments and pain. You are going to create a loving child who loves themselves for the beauty within regardless of what you may have encountered outside of yourself. Tell yourself, This or that happened or I felt that. It is over now and I survived. I am O.K. I choose to let it go and to live a life of giving and receiving love and not living in pain or lies. I WANT TO LIVE AND LOVE. If you need to write about your anger write it and release it. Forgive it. Write a letter to others (don't send it) just let them know how you felt and forgive them. Perhaps you may want to burn it after to complete letting go.

As you do this, you will feel more courageous, freer, lighter and more empowered. You will be taking your power back. You will be deciding to see your life in a much different way.

If I can be of assistance to you, please contact me 630-730-1228 or dgagala@comcast.net. You may also visit my website www.purposepassionvision.com.

Debbie

Certified LifeLine Practitioner

Hope, Love, Joy

Hope, Love, Joy. That is what I am feeling today. As the celebration of Christmas with loved ones was shared, I find myself feeling contented. But the contentment that I am feeling is leaving me with a desire to reach out and share the feelings of hope, love and joy. I do not however, want to share or convince others that my hope, love and joy are what is right for them. I DO want to help them to find the hope, love and joy within their own soul. Your spirit always beckons to you to awaken to the the beauty that is within you. Often we feel separated from that part of us. Do not be fooled. The beauty may be hidden under a blanket of loss, hurt, pain, anger. But the fear that you may be hurt again is holding you back from allowing yourself to feel that hope, love and joy again.

Today, you can choose to listen to your spirit. Start to dissolve the walls that are keeping you from experiencing the joy of life again. The past is behind you. Awaken to the present moment, allow yourself to heal from the past and move forward in hope. You can begin to create a life of love and joy. You can feel it happening right now as you read this. Give yourself this most wonderful gift. Life lived each moment with happiness and joy. Breathe in hope and love. Doesn't that feel better?

Debbie,

Certified LifeLine Practitioner

630-730-1228

For appt call. Rates negotiable.