Months have crept by since I last blogged and also have extra and unwanted pounds slowly crept into my tissues. It's winter now. It is a time to go within, find comfort, warmth and solitude. If I were a bear I would be well prepared for a long winter. Winter is a time for reflection. Sometimes, we stay in winter mode for longer than the winter months. That has been my state. I haven't blogged for over a year. Wow. Where have I been? I asked myself that question. I don't really know. Hours turned into days, and days into a year and a half. Busy, occupied and sometimes lost. Life happened and I withdrew and escaped into it and myself. I have had a broken leg, been in the hospital and therapy for 3-6 months. Still not recuperated, actually have lots of work to go. In the process I have gained more weight and struggle to keep myself going. I have grieved what happened and where I am. I have been angry and resentful. I have prayed for help, of course looking for a specific outcome. That outcome has not happened because I have not taken action to make it come about. Now I'm tired of grieving. tired of going downhill. From deep inside me my soul is calling me to wake up, find and claim my own strength. I have been looking outside of myself for someone or something to help me. And I have had help. I have received LifeLine sessions and energy work that have revealed hurt and the loss of my own voice or inability to speak up for myself. I have been learning very important lessons during this time. I have been writing in my journal and discovering thought patterns and false beliefs that I have been replaying in my head. They have not been helping me. They have kept me trapped. I have been living in the past, which really translates to existing but not really living at all. The help I need comes from within and has always been inside of me. It comes from my inner-self, my heart and my soul. I come from God, from the divine. I am a spark which emanates from the One Divine Living Flame we call God. I have been denying that I am a child of God and that my strength comes from him.
So rather than listen to the voice in my head that says, I can't do this, or it's too hard to do that; I am choosing to listen to my heart. My heart tells me that all things are possible. My heart tells me to love myself and to take care of myself. It tells me I have all that I need and to live with gratitude. It tells me I am alive and to celebrate that life.
It is snowing heavily outside. The first heavy snow of the winter even though it is the end of February. The huge heavy flakes are falling like rain. Which is rather ironic because inside me I feel like spring. Ready to burst forth with renewed energy and full of belief in myself. I can see myself getting better and wanting to put forth the effort to get better. I really feel like I can do it.
I am going to share this with you. I will be telling you what I have discovered about myself recently and what changes are taking place. So pull up a chair, a cup of coffee and a tall glass of good healthy water and listen while I tell a story about me and perhaps about you too. For we are all children of God, in search of our own divine spark of life, joy and happiness from within!
A Journey shared with heartfelt Infinite Love and Gratitude,
Debbie
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